that title is benny's fault because when he emailed us all (whoever us all is) on sunday his subject line was Tuesday with benny – which reminded me of the book Tuesdays with Morrie. when i said that to him in the reply email, he wrote back and said he wondered if anyone (but me) would get the connection. sometimes i think i read too much and think too much.
so this morning when i was done reading my yahoo email, i checked out the news headlines and clicked on one that said that in the year 2007 nearly 700,000 americans went hungry. so then i had to go post that on my facebook. and then i got to thinking about how many ppl could we have fed with the $333,500 that has and will be spent on fixing up the church (i mean $70,000 to renovate bathrooms built in the 70's that still function very well seems like an excess to me). $300,000 is really a drop in the bucket and we did need to have the roof redone and the siding, too. but honestly, this whole thing is making me sick to my stomach. i feel like i need to express my feelings to someone other than the two ppl i know r as upset about this as i am. and here's the thing – my other church (where papa won't let me go anymore) was all about buying the land and the buildings and how much money were they going to spend??? its crazy to think that this is the way to “build the church”. building papa's idea of church is to feed the hungry, house the homeless, clothe the naked. i love the song “I Believe” by Don Potter because it says “his church will NOT be built by hands”. its not a physical structure. when will ppl get that through their heads. will they ever. its great to have a building to come to and gather in and worship together. but the building is NOT church. and the emphasis should NOT be on that.
honestly, idk what papa wants me to do here because on the one hand i keep hearing about yielding to the authority of the house and that would be the pastor and whomever else is “in charge”. but how can i when i feel so much like this is going against what papa wants there? and my friend made a good point, more and more ppl r coming every sunday – the place is becoming packed – is the building what is attracting them – i would hate to think that's what it is. i would love to believe that its the spirit there. ugh.
papa tell me what to do – speak out, stay silent and pray. idk is this one of those times when i'm supposed to take papa's strength and stand up for this? or is this what papa wants -- to attract ppl with a shiney building and then once they r in there he floods them with the holy spirit. too many questions -- like i said -- i do too much thinking.