Wednesday, September 24, 2008


two augusts ago, during worship, the lord gave me a message for my daughter and her soon to be ex-boyfriend from lamentations. the boyfriend refused to take the message because #1 he wasn't in the mood for anything, and #2 he figured it was from me and not papa god because i'm "the only person he knows who's ever read lamentations -- nobody reads lamentations".

i thought that can't be that i'm the only person who's ever read lamentations. i mean -- come on -- its part of the bible. surely religious folks have read this book in the bible. ok, i admit that up until the summer before all this, i hadn't read lamentations either. i mean, frankly, the thought of reading a book with such a depressing name seemed kind of silly.

well, the chapter and verses i was given by papa to give to these two youngsters was from lam. 3:22-33. i remember it well -- its emblazoned in my brain, like some sort of banner.

so last night i did something really stupid. i took my bible to bed with me (my new little unmarked in any way coz its still so new travel bible) and in the dark, i opened the book and laid my finger on a place -- not knowing what it was. i was looking for an answer to a question about direction and earlier in the day papa had told me to "stick to what i know". i didn't know what that meant in the whole grand scheme of things. it was unsettling knowing i was going to have to come up with an answer by thurs., when papa wasn't giving me (or i wasn't receiving) clear direction. i'd heard that ppl often did this flip through the bible and lay a finger on a passage to take that as a "sign" from papa. it seems silly, but in a moment of desperation, one will try just about anything.

so after laying my finger in the bible, i switched on my little camping light (ok, so sue me, i keep a little camping light near my bed for reading and just in case the electricity ever goes out). when i looked where i'd opened to, it was none other than lamentations 3.

well, i thought that was weird, and so i read through lamentations again and realized that its not so weird because lamentations 3:22-26 says"through the lord's mercies we r not consumed. because his compassions fail not. they r new every morning. great is Your faithfulness. 'the lord is my portion', says my soul. 'therefore i hope in him!" the lord is good to those who wait for him. to the soul who seeks him. it is good that one should hope and wait quietly."

so what am i to make of this -- what has this to say for me -- that my portion is in the lord. i have hope in him and that those mercies his gives so freely r renewed every day. that i should wait for him. so now i'm off to listen to some worship music and meditate with my papa and see what he has for me.

btw, i don't recommend the flipping through the bible finger thing as a true answer to prayer. but i do think that sometimes its opens the door or window to see him a little more clearly.

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