gifts from papa...

for about two and a half hours today i was outside on some back dirt road taking photos. one of the ppl (jeff) who goes to my morning church and leads worship from time to time is producing his own cd filled with his own songs and needed photos for the front and back covers. i offered to help -- idk how much help i was in that dept. but we took a few pics and there might be a couple that would work for them.

while we were on this excursion, we had a chance to talk about some things. its interesting to "compare notes" with other christians from time to time about their journey. sometimes i find myself "preaching to myself" when attempting to encourage others to keep on their journey with papa. i hear stuff coming out of my mouth that has not been in my head and i know its from papa.

the best part of today -- aside from the gleaning of a new relationship with another one of papa's kids -- was being outside in papa's world -- with all the painted leaves. at one point we went past the river where the water was so still it was like a mirror. somewhere upstream the water was flowing swiftly and i wondered, how did it get so still further downstream when it was flowing so heavily upstream. just another wonder of papa's.

i love this time of year because the colors r so pretty and its just another reminder that there is something greater than any of us directing this amazing scenery change. as we stood on the back roads today (and some of them were really back roads barely big enough for one car), i could take in all the beauty and know that papa was right there with us. its those little blessings that help keep me going. while others may look for the huge miracles, i know that the little miracles r just as important in papa's grand scheme of things.

i remember one sunday when jeff was leading worship. i was in a particularly bad place in my life -- feeling unloved and unloveable. i wondered how anyone could ever love me. jeff came in carrying this gnarly piece of birch. during worship he held it up and talked about how most of us see ourselves as this gnarled ugly piece of wood, but that papa sees us as this beautiful 12-string guitar. he suggested that we needed to start seeing ourselves as that guitar -- as papa sees us. it was a turning point for me because it was then that i realized that i wasn't seeing myself as that precious daughter of a king but as something so much less. that if i ever was to come into relationship with papa i was going to have to start seeing myself as he saw me.

i don't always succeed and sometimes the enemy whispers lies into my head that make me start to slip into that ugly space -- but papa always finds a way to pull me back -- either through encouragement from another or a sign. its a wonderful gift. i hope that he continues to use me to help others through encouraging them. even that is a gift from papa....