sick again ....

i can't believe this, but i'm sick again!! it doesn't help that i had two little boys coughing all over me at the beginning of the week. i remember the days when my kids brought stuff home from school and inevitably i would get it too -- which, of course, in mommy terms means u don't rest because ur too busy being nurse to sick children. but i had several good years of not much more than the occasional cold until this year.

idk what it is, but when i'm feeling really ill, the one thing i want more than anything is my mommy. it probably harkens back to when i was little and she would take care of me when i was sick. its funny, but i don't remember my mom ever being sick -- which is probably a testament to how well she hid it when she was sick. i'm afraid i don't hide sick very well ...

when i was little i got a lot of bronchitis -- especially around the holidays. finally, my mom decided to have me checked for allergies, since she and her mom both suffered from them. sure enough i was allergic to a zillion things -- not the least of which was the evergreen tree we would bring into the house for christmas. and not only the tree, but the mold on the tree. so i was getting a double whammy every year. of course, allergies by themselves r just a pain, but they don't usually cause much more than a sniffling runny nose and a cough. but mine would eventually settle in my chest and i would end up really sick with bronchitis, which evidently scars the lungs and leads to more episodes of it. lucky for me, i outgrew some of that.

this year seems to be an exceptionally bad year all around the country for illness, what with the H1N1 flu. i'm pretty sure i don't have the flu right now -- although i might have had a slight bout of the regular flu earlier in the season. i still had the residual cough from that when i got hit with this -- whatever it is. like i said, i am pretty sure its not the flu because i only have a mild fever. but still, its enough to make me feel bad enough to want to stay in bed 24/7.

of course, as a mom i can't stay in bed 24/7. i thought about this the other day when i came home feeling really ill and there were two sinks worth of dishes to be done. i stood there and did them, but it was about all i had energy for and promptly collapsed afterwards. my daughter still needed to be picked up at school and of course, there was dinner to make. who feels like doing any of that stuff when all u want to do is sleep because every muscle and bone in ur body hurts?? today i have bills i need to run around and pay -- so there will little rest for me and probably i won't feel up to making dinner tonight, but i need to do it.

i was supposed to do a crafts fair tomorrow night -- and i really need the money -- but if i'm not feeling well its not going to happen. but the world doesn't stop revolving and things don't stop needing attention just because i'm sick. as moms well know, u keep going even though u feel like u can't. do men feel this way to keep going? my ex never did. at the slightest sign of pain he was a wimp. won't go into the details, but it was never pretty. so i wonder if its a general difference in the sexes thing.

at any rate, i'm doing what i always do -- loading up on the vitamins and zinc and forcing the fluids till i think i'm going to float away. what else can i do when there is so much stuff that needs attention?

to vaccinate or not to vaccinate?? that is the question

my daughter and i got our annual flu shots again this year. she got hers at school and i had to wait in line for 45 minutes several weeks later to get mine. at any rate, her school recently sent home a permission slip to sign for her to get the H1N1 (here after called by its truly improper name of the swine flu only coz its easier to type than H1N1). i sat her down and we discussed the pros and cons because we've been getting this barrage of "information" (which i put in quotes because honestly, how much of this stuff can we believe -- most of it, from either side of the fence, has been manipulated to suit a purpose -- ie, support their side of the fence).

the real problem, though, is that there is a shortage of the vaccine and even if i sign the form she may not get the vaccine in a timely fashion (it takes at least two weeks to build up an immunity after having the vaccine). ppl r already dropping around her at school (90 in the junior high alone) -- and i don't mean dying, i mean just coming down with it (or symptoms similar to it). several ppl in her math class have already come down with it -- one of whom is a good friend. and i've been coughing for two days straight (even though i think this is my asthma idk for sure that it isn't the beginning of the swine flu) after taking care of two boys last friday and this monday and finding out yesterday that the dad has it -- he works at a nearby college where its been rampant.

so i'm inclined to think she should have the vaccine (and i should too), but then u hear all these horror stories of ppl who had terrible side effects from other flu vaccines (not the swine flu yet) and u wonder which is worse -- the side effects from the vaccine (which could be life-altering) or the flu itself. i mean ppl have already and still r dying from it -- and many of those ppl r young adults and children. and who's to know which information is accurate and not being distorted to the point of non-recognition of the actual facts. its just so confusing...

to vaccinate or not to vaccinate -- that is truly the question.