overly blessed

some might say that i am poor and not blessed at all. but i know different. we may not have much money and bills might get put off from time to time, but we r most certainly overly blessed. the last two days were testimony to that.

on thurs. my neighbor told me about the turkey dinner fixings that her church was handing out at their food pantry. i really didn't have room for a turkey in my freezer, and my kids weren't going to be with me this year for christmas, so i thought i would wait until after christmas to pick one up at the grocery store for the christmas celebration i would then have with my kids. but when i got home from lunch with a friend, my neighbor had left me an almost 13 lb. turkey and a grocery bag full of food -- not just for the turkey dinner, but for other dinners as well. it was an amazing blessing. i didn't have room in my freezer for it, so i'm currently thawing it in my sink to make later today when my son comes over to eat. we will have plenty for our meal and much left over to freeze and make for other meals.

that same day a friend called me and invited me to lunch. i don't get to go out to eat much. occasionally sammy and i will venture down the "strip" and get something at McD's, Wendy's, BK, or Taco Bell off their dollar menus. once in a while we'll splurge at Panera and can usually walk away with a good meal for a little over $10. but that doesn't happen often -- so to go to a real sit down restaurant with a menu that the waitress hands u is a really special treat. this particular friend has taken me out before and its so sweet of her to do that. we have some commonalities in our lives and enjoy each other's company.

afterwards she came to my apt. and looked through my wares. she was looking for presents for her female relatives and picked several jewelry pieces. she blessed me by not only feeding me spiritually and nutritionally, but by purchasing some items which then put money in my pocket to pay some bills and buy a gift card for my son for christmas from the local guitar shop. to top it all off, she gave us a bag of lindor truffles (if u haven't had these -- they r an extravagant chocolate -- even white chocolates which i can have). it was a truly blessed day.

yesterday another friend stopped by to pick up some speakers i had that she wanted to use to plug in her ipod. but she didn't come empty handed. she walked through the door with a huge basket of fruit in her arms and in a shopping bag attached to one arm was a spiral cut ham as big as the turkey i'd gotten the day before -- along with homemade mustard sauce. talk about being blown away -- i was...

the thing is that i don't accept gifts given very well. i'm always embarrassed and humbled by the experience. and here i was being totally humbled three times in two days. we now have too much food and i'm not sure how to handle it all. don't get me wrong, i'm so very very grateful for all of it, and i realize that christmas is the time for giving. but i am one of those ppl who feels this need to reciprocate in kind -- and i can't and it kind of hurts me that i can't. but i'm grateful for the blessings and i think that papa god is trying to teach me to be more accepting without feeling the need to reciprocate immediately. as my friend yesterday said -- u gave to me throughout the year when u just listened or talked to me about spiritual things and look today u let me borrow ur speakers which gets me out of a pickle -- that is ur gift to me. i have never thought of that as a gift -- doing little things or just spending time talking with someone as a gift-- i have always thought of it as just being me. and if something i do doesn't seem "above and beyond" the norm, then it doesn't seem like a gift. but maybe it is to others. and maybe i need to stop beating myself up for not being able to give "gifts" that come wrapped in pretty paper.

at any rate, today will be a day of cooking and feasting. i will be making both the turkey and the ham and we will have a bit of both on our plates along with all the fixings and i will freeze all the leftovers since my daughter will be going to her dad's on monday and not coming back till the middle of the following week. and every time i pull out turkey or ham to make another meal i will thank papa god for the wonderful friends who blessed me in a most thoughtful way.