goodbye trees ....

well, its official. they started tearing down all the ash trees in the housing development i live in. idk. and the bushes r coming out today. its looking a lot like a war zone here with the siding off all the buildings and insulation exposed and trucks and diggers all over the place. i just want to cry.

i had asked if we could ball the bushes that were still in great shape (the one outside my door is very much alive and thriving and a home for the birds), but i was told no. i don't understand any of it. but we've tried fighting it and we just get smacked back down to the hole where they think we belong.

as for the nonsense in the kitchens -- that is going full steam ahead as well. the state asbestos guy was here yesterday and even though he said that he hadn't seen any actual paperwork saying that the asbestos tests came back negative he didn't have any reason not to believe that the tests hadn't been done. and he couldn't help us with regard to the foam insulation causing health issues or the possibility of lead because it wasn't his "department". when pressed for who we should contact he said, "i can't really say." he did all of this in front of the reporter from the local paper.

of course in the midst of all this i am having my own little mini-meltdown and still trying to keep my eyes on papa god. only he can save us. tomorrow some friends r coming over to bless my apt. i have asked if they would consider blessing the whole building because my neighbors have asked. this surprised me because some of them rn't christians or rn't practicing christians -- but u never know. it can't hurt.

i don't want to move -- i really can't afford to move anywhere at this point since i don't have a job and no savings to speak of. but i was in tears this morning at the thought of losing the bushes and trees. i wonder -- is papa god crying too over the destruction we cause to his earth?